Adaptive Curmudgeon

My homestead (like many) is awash in wildlife. I need to co-exist with it. Urban folks might not know what that’s like but then again they’ve got their own critter issues. All my critter encounters involve ones with four feet so I think I get the better deal.

Recently a critter and I tangled. It caused me to reflect on my “two rules of critter cohabitation”. Any animal that follows these two rules will get along with me just fine. One that violates either rule will face a reckoning. The rules are as follows:

  1. Stay out of my house.
  2. Run when you see me.

Ten words. I’m a simple man. Failure to heed them is punishable by shotgun. I don’t do warning shots.

My rules cover all situations and their meaning is highly refined. They form a superb, fully thought out, contract between me and mother nature. They’re more carefully…

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